This is the book mocked in dozens of Dilbert strips. But in fact, most of
what its author,
Stephen R. Covey
says is better than the usual self-hyping success books have to say. I sum
it up here.
Learn and work. The basic premise is that lying to
yourself and trying some
recipice for personal and public success won't work
out. The only way to have a meaningful life is to put work into it, and to
try and be a decent person. There are no free shots and cheap victories. If
you want something good and valuable, you have to earnestly work for it.
Private victory precedes public victory. You need to conquer yourself to be able to conquer the world. At the center of effectiveness is the balance between
production capability (PC, learning, improvements, maintenance) and
production (P, output, productive work). Most people only look at P
and miss the point that, if you do not invest into PC, P will deteriorate.
If you only improve PC, it is useless theory. The art is to find the right
balance, producing as much good stuff as you can, while not losing the
capability to do so.
| Habit
Seven: Sharpen the saw |
This habit talks about the PC/P balance mentioned in the introduction.
I'm not sure why it comes last in the book, it seems to fit better in the
beginning, since this investing time in personal improvement is the base to
make all the other habits work. So I put it here. Basically it says that you
yourself are all you have, and you should care for your health and wellness.
You should
invest at least one
hour per day for your personal "maintenance". There are four basic
areas to cover:
- Physical. Keep fit, do some sports, do not neglect your bodies'
health, since without it nothing will work. Stretch, do not eat unhealthy
food too often, do not take drugs or smoke, clean yourself.
- Mental. Learn something, read something intellectually stimulating,
plan your day, do not kill your time with TV.
- Cultural. Do something for your soul, be it reading novels, going to
the theatre, pray, listen to music, take a long walk in nature.
- Social. Remember the ones you love, write them, call them, talk to
them think about them and how you could make them happy.
| PRIVATE
VICTORY |
| Habit
One: Be proactive |
Terminator II - Judgement Day: The future is not set. Face it:
You make your life. You decide what happens with your life, you alone
are responsible for yourself. Many people hide away from this
responsibility, blaming "the circumstances" on what their life is like. They
let others decide for them, act on them. Try to fulfill other's image of
their life. They feel they have no control. But this is not true. You are
the master of your destiny. Of course, there are things you cannot control.
There is is an
area of concern, things which are important for your
life, and an
area of influence, things you can influence through your
actions. And some of the things concerning you are beyond your influence.
But this is no reason to despair and lose initiative. Go and work on that
which you can influence, and you can dramatically change the course of your
life. You can learn to work hard, even if you are lazy, you just have to
want it. You can learn to be considerate, even if you are an antisocial
brat, you just have to want it.
| Habit
Two: Begin With the End in Mind |
The one thing that can stop you to lead the life you want, even if you
are no coward an accept it's your fault if you do not, is that you do not
know which life you want. So think about what your goals in life are, what
you'd like your life to have been like at the end. Write this down in a
document. If you have no goals, you can not reach any.
Decide what is
important for you. You need a goal. You then can break down this big
goal into smaller ones, and work every day to achieve them.
| Habit
Three: Put First Things First |
Time limits what you can do. Most people are weak and give in to every
whim, satisfying direct desires, even if it doesn't help with their goals
for life. And if you give in and devote time for unimportant things, you
will have lost it for the important ones.
Time is limited and easily squandered. Do important things first, even when they are unpleasant.
This self-conquering is what separates successful people from others. Also,
you should not let yourself be controlled by outside forces. He categorizes
activities in 4 quadrants.
Basically spend your time on the important ones. Then you get something done,
and you will have no time for unimportant ones. But spend it on the
unimportant ones (which is often way easier), and you will not have time for
important ones and get nowhere. Preferably spend it on Quadrant II
activities, and the horrible Quadrant I things will vanish with time. Invest
your time in improving your production capability. Do not let unimportant
outside forces get in the way -
say no.
|
Urgent
|
Not Urgent
|
Important
|
[Quadrant I]
Crises
Deadlines
|
[Quadrant II]
Relationship building
Planning
Preparation
Improvements
Learning
|
Not Important
|
[Quadrant III]
Calls
Interruptions
Reports
Meetings
|
[Quadrant IV]
Time Wasters
Junk mail & calls
Pleasant activities
|
| PUBLIC
VICTORY |
| Habit
Four: Think Win/Win |
When dealing with other people, make deals which benefit both of you. Do
not exploit others, or they will not come back again. Obviously, do not let
yourself be exploited. Trust is established only over time when you realize
you deal with someone responsible and fair. Since everybodies interests are
a bit different, you can find a solution which benfits both. Many people
think nice and tough is mutually exclusive. No. Win/Win is both nice and
tough.
| Habit
Five: Try to understand, then to be understood |
If you earnestly try to understand someone, he feels you are valueing him
and his opinion. This makes it possible for him to open up, instead of being
defensive. To understand someone else, you have to listen emphatically to
him.
Try to
understand what he feels and what he thinks. You restate his feelings
and ideas to him, to make sure you have understood. If you truely
understand, you will be able to see his side, too. It doesn't mean you have
to give up your values. You can still have a different opinion, but you at
least consider other opinions, and sometimes both of you will reach a new
insight which surpasses what you thought before.
This habit can be summarized as: appreciate and
accept people as they are
- there are no others. Synergy is just a bad word for the positive effect
that comes from this sober view of the world. But if you think that there
are only two opinions, your opinion and the wrong one, you will not get very
far with other people. You will always feel you are right and they are
wrong, that they should change. Which of course they won't and you'll get
angry and frustrated in no time about how bad and unfair the world is to
you. Lighten up: the world isn't here for you. It was here before and will
be here after you are gone. It owes you nothing. So if you want to live in
it, show a little respect. You can only change yourself.
